25 Jun
25Jun

We are often asked “How did it happen?” but rarely “Why did you let it happen?” We have easy answers for how a relationship fails: ‘they gave up,’ or ‘they didn’t want me any more,‘ and the tried and true ‘it was her/ him, not me.’ The problem is when it comes to ‘why’ because then we don’t always speak plainly. We are either brutally honest (truth!) or radically sarcastic (No – I hate my one and only). Sarcasm says a lot about who we really are inside, doesn’t it? Psychologists say that when we tease in this way, we reveal what is truly fascinating us.

For the long experienced British rock band 10cc a change in their future was because of the band’s name. It had been changed previously more than seven times with some varied recording success in the UK and the US as the band morphed from rock and roll to pop to bubblegum dance music. Their Strawberry Studios production facility was making hits for Top 40 artists such as Silver Fleet, Freddie and the Dreamers, Ohio Express and Neil Sedaka.

But, it was when they signed on with Jonathan King, an English singer-songwriter, record producer and music entrepreneur, that they admitted how they felt about themselves as rock and roll songwriters and musicians. Eric Stewart, Graham Gouldman, Kevin Godley, and Lol Crème used the “male sex drive” moniker to lead them to five Top 10 singles and a #1 hit all from their first five releases.

On their way to success in America the quirky “Life is a Minestrone” was the first single from their third studio album, “The Original Soundtrack.” For some this parody was too Frank Zappa-esque and a confusing surprise.  It seems their sharp wit put off quite a few music lovers, despite reaching #7 in the UK. That is the slippery part about sarcasm, it sometimes makes people laugh when we are expressing how sad we really are about something.


The biggest hit and the most emotionally impactful from “The Original Soundtrack” was “I’m not in Love” which was written by Eric as a comeback line to his wife. Apparently, he had a bad habit of not saying “I love you” often enough. So, as the lyrics linger in what appears to sound like an argument between lovers is really a one-upsmanship of sarcastic retorts. When looked at in this light, as playful banter, the song is quite amusing.  Unfortunately, for most of us, the song’s theme carries a deeper meaning and sounds more like a declaration that a heart is broken and feelings hurt.

The release included futuristic looped vocals propelling it to #1 in Canada, Ireland, and the UK, and #2 on the US Billboard Hot 100. But, it was studio secretary Kathy Redfern who made the song a sensation. Her whispering the lines: “Be quiet. Big boys don’t cry” was the female riposte to “I’m not in love (with you).” Even this was meant to be sarcastic. We need to remember that sarcasm is dangerous. At times when it is meant to be good natured it can be humorous.  However, not being truthful about how we feel about the person we love can cause hurt feelings – and those feelings might be our own.

Lyrics: written by Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman - converted non-sarcastic heartfelt film version

I’m not in love
So don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through

And just because
I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made

I’m not in love, no no
it’s because

I like to see you
But then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me

So if I call you
Don’t make a fuss
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us

I’m not in love, no no
it’s because


(spoken loudly by an abusive couple as husband and wife)

Don't tell me I didn't see it cause I saw you right by and there you were holding hands sneaking around getting real cozy with your new little boyfriend

I told you a hundred times he is not my boyfriend! He is my business partner!

Oh pardon me, Mrs. big lady executive,

Mrs. Women's Lib over here who never finished high school

But I did finish beauty school and i am a beautician and whether you like it or not, Ronaldo and I are opening a beauty salon

Well that's beautiful that is so you're gone all day. What am i supposed to do, stay around here and be the housewife?

Well somebody has to start bringing some money into this house! To hell with you, lady!


I keep your picture
Upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that’s lying there

So don’t you ask me
To give it back
I know you know it doesn’t mean that much to me

I’m not in love, no no
it’s because

Ooh you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh you’ll wait a long time

Ooh you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh you’ll wait a long time

I’m not in love
So don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through

And just because
I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made

I’m not in love
I’m not in love




If you are feeling depressed, do something about it. Please find help before making any rash decisions.  Click this resource, the National Institute of Mental Health.

If you or someone you know has an eating disorder (ED) CLICK HERE to get more information from the NIMH.

Read up on PTSD – post traumatic stress disorder Click Here.

Copyright © 1960-2017 Lawrence J. J. Leonard All rights reserved.

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